July 16, 2009
July 14, 2009
anxiety
past disappointments giving way to future developments
future plans giving way to ruptured expectations;
the uncertainties of a steady season lifting the entrance curtain
to the prelude of a fragile winter - athlete's foot beware;
the fog rolls in an settles for weeks on end.
---
climbing tree branches and waiting for the winter squirrels to
knock you off their entrance; the valley, the slope, the top.
future plans giving way to ruptured expectations;
the uncertainties of a steady season lifting the entrance curtain
to the prelude of a fragile winter - athlete's foot beware;
the fog rolls in an settles for weeks on end.
---
climbing tree branches and waiting for the winter squirrels to
knock you off their entrance; the valley, the slope, the top.
July 06, 2009
for us
i.
every day you are gone, there is a sad face
every day you are closer home, there is a happy face
every day you just anticipate will be a 'snail-by,' there is a straight face
every second of the day you are on route,
the smile will culminate
with an explosion of tears, warmer than i could ever imagine;
a hot flush and cascades of relief all focal around our cheeks.
ii.
pause and relinquish in the tumbling moments of an emancipated future.
from point a. to point z. without any gaps or lopsided connections - better yet,
without any decreasing bulk to your wallet's intake/specialization for the z/y/x
industry(ies). time off is time lost -> lost time is futile, worth less than the blankest bathroom mirror reflection - worthless.
it's just how things are, you were never asked to sign a contract when you were
born into this - you just become it, and you damn straight better keep your mouth shut.
we all carry this baggage along with us - what makes me think i can carry it half as slow?
the gram outweighs the ton, by a million. clean is only there where you make it, and filth is only
the linguistic connotation this dichotomy must represent. success is reflected onto you, not created...
and you should know half-better than what we did.
iii.
'there is a path you must follow, i'll take you there; the thorny vines have grown over the
brush, but other than that the path is right there , it won't take much, just sacrifice and and and LISTEN! THEY ARE LETTING YOU COME a sheer sense of satisfaction detached from norms of spirit and cosmical orientations.'
"but i didn't want broccoleeeeee"
don't want it, don't get it
every day you are gone, there is a sad face
every day you are closer home, there is a happy face
every day you just anticipate will be a 'snail-by,' there is a straight face
every second of the day you are on route,
the smile will culminate
with an explosion of tears, warmer than i could ever imagine;
a hot flush and cascades of relief all focal around our cheeks.
ii.
pause and relinquish in the tumbling moments of an emancipated future.
from point a. to point z. without any gaps or lopsided connections - better yet,
without any decreasing bulk to your wallet's intake/specialization for the z/y/x
industry(ies). time off is time lost -> lost time is futile, worth less than the blankest bathroom mirror reflection - worthless.
it's just how things are, you were never asked to sign a contract when you were
born into this - you just become it, and you damn straight better keep your mouth shut.
we all carry this baggage along with us - what makes me think i can carry it half as slow?
the gram outweighs the ton, by a million. clean is only there where you make it, and filth is only
the linguistic connotation this dichotomy must represent. success is reflected onto you, not created...
and you should know half-better than what we did.
iii.
'there is a path you must follow, i'll take you there; the thorny vines have grown over the
brush, but other than that the path is right there , it won't take much, just sacrifice and and and LISTEN! THEY ARE LETTING YOU COME a sheer sense of satisfaction detached from norms of spirit and cosmical orientations.'
"but i didn't want broccoleeeeee"
don't want it, don't get it
July 04, 2009
now my hand's in the hive
this is some bullshit: icepacks, emergency room, easy bruising, pain medicine, antibiotics, infections, soapy water soakings, antibiotics, bandaging, icyhots, stress, snailing along, sweating and waking up four times a night, oh and more pain medicine. my stomach needs a break, so does my body. somebody call up the Medicine Man and have him give me even his grossest smelling/tasting potion to make me immune of this horrible streak of luck. i just wanna forget these last 2 weeks even happened. 
i
i
June 24, 2009
i am
so wiped.
wiped to the point where the act of eating starts looking more like a task
than a craving, each crunch of the teeth considerably diminishing your energies
and finalizing the passing of time to it's slowest procession.
ufffffffff
wiped to the point where the act of eating starts looking more like a task
than a craving, each crunch of the teeth considerably diminishing your energies
and finalizing the passing of time to it's slowest procession.
ufffffffff
June 21, 2009
weekends: empty hearts, broken bottles
bread - tea - coffee and
the longest reading attempt thus far.
"you must go through at least a year of it to have some notion.
i say there was no permanence. Even that town was temporary. i say it. all vanity and vexation of the spirit,
"one generation passeth away, and another cometh: but the earth abideth forever, or as forever as the rain let it" (22).
i say there was no permanence. Even that town was temporary. i say it. all vanity and vexation of the spirit,
"one generation passeth away, and another cometh: but the earth abideth forever, or as forever as the rain let it" (22).
June 12, 2009
homesick
6:45 - 'it's quarter til'
7:00 - mirror, grub
7:15 - colonies of cars - star-stop-punch'in
9:00 - the point to which i read in the forthcoming gossip room
1:00 - an ideal, sleep in the park if meteorological conditions allow + recollection of nutritional energies
6:00 - bus/car - the colonies are reaching their destinations nomatterwhat
the rest of the day(s) is spent in an attempt to find purpose in time allocated to the free activities, yet the constraints insufferably itch my temples. it's not the summer i have hoped for, yet in retrospect, the freedom is there and will always be... mind you/us, with some restrictions in mind.
i miss my natal land.
'you had a revolution in your head, too bad you couldn't make it out of bed'
7:00 - mirror, grub
7:15 - colonies of cars - star-stop-punch'in
9:00 - the point to which i read in the forthcoming gossip room
1:00 - an ideal, sleep in the park if meteorological conditions allow + recollection of nutritional energies
6:00 - bus/car - the colonies are reaching their destinations nomatterwhat
the rest of the day(s) is spent in an attempt to find purpose in time allocated to the free activities, yet the constraints insufferably itch my temples. it's not the summer i have hoped for, yet in retrospect, the freedom is there and will always be... mind you/us, with some restrictions in mind.
i miss my natal land.
'you had a revolution in your head, too bad you couldn't make it out of bed'
June 07, 2009
ugh
just like him - the lost generation - infinity of limited possibilities - regressive, repetitive behaviors. the finality of events and lack of power to climb away from the lows into the highs.
life's just like a sin/cos wave - it's at 3pi/2
June 03, 2009
oh shush!
weather dot com, please shut yer yap:
'ESCAPING THE HEAT BY JUMPING INTO A COLD LAKE OR RIVER CAN LEAD TO DEATH BY HYPOTHERMIA OR DROWNING.'
how about free ice and/or water spray bottles for everyone?
that'd be a treat most deserved!
'ESCAPING THE HEAT BY JUMPING INTO A COLD LAKE OR RIVER CAN LEAD TO DEATH BY HYPOTHERMIA OR DROWNING.'
how about free ice and/or water spray bottles for everyone?
that'd be a treat most deserved!
May 28, 2009
left for the trees, right for the pavement
he packed up all expectations-
to my endearing, yet sometimes offsetting, life-companions/authority figures/fellow residents:
i know we like things clean and think we do things proper, or do them backwards just to make a point, yet we all forget to flush the toilet or leave hair (un)flushed or on the seat;
i know we have this idea of property and inherent labour (time, money, sweat etc.) that dominate our conscience, but please do consider that things untouched/concealed are often serving a higher purpose than our ideas of progress and advancement;
i know that aesthetics come with tools and shapes and forms and (newly, but maybe not so) irregularities that challenge our rational and somewhat unimaginative senses, but for goodness sake, i am not your projection of good or evil - i am just making sense of what i perceive will sustain a sphere of emotional and physical positivity that will further hopefully more than my well-being.
nothing's greatly new, nor has it not been said, in a way or another - externalizing a deeply internalized remark that sits like a mist of clouds above a homogeneous blue surely can help.
how is it that people 'are more psycho here? [and] some things are okay? [or] liberation is restricted by a movement (held in categorized standards of x,y,z leading to x+1, y-1, 2z)?
i was never good at math but i intend to learn, yet mobilization seems further out of reach in the sense that i hope for - the grazing lands are wider, yet cows not happier, the fence is getting thicker, the BEWARE sign growing distant, and sometimes i just don't really want to have more to give and sell away.
it's all an intent and it will stray away with time, a concept in itself...or just call it a construct? academics told me so, infrastructure told us so-
to my endearing, yet sometimes offsetting, life-companions/authority figures/fellow residents:
i know we like things clean and think we do things proper, or do them backwards just to make a point, yet we all forget to flush the toilet or leave hair (un)flushed or on the seat;
i know we have this idea of property and inherent labour (time, money, sweat etc.) that dominate our conscience, but please do consider that things untouched/concealed are often serving a higher purpose than our ideas of progress and advancement;
i know that aesthetics come with tools and shapes and forms and (newly, but maybe not so) irregularities that challenge our rational and somewhat unimaginative senses, but for goodness sake, i am not your projection of good or evil - i am just making sense of what i perceive will sustain a sphere of emotional and physical positivity that will further hopefully more than my well-being.
nothing's greatly new, nor has it not been said, in a way or another - externalizing a deeply internalized remark that sits like a mist of clouds above a homogeneous blue surely can help.
how is it that people 'are more psycho here? [and] some things are okay? [or] liberation is restricted by a movement (held in categorized standards of x,y,z leading to x+1, y-1, 2z)?
i was never good at math but i intend to learn, yet mobilization seems further out of reach in the sense that i hope for - the grazing lands are wider, yet cows not happier, the fence is getting thicker, the BEWARE sign growing distant, and sometimes i just don't really want to have more to give and sell away.
it's all an intent and it will stray away with time, a concept in itself...or just call it a construct? academics told me so, infrastructure told us so-
we make it, you break it.
May 21, 2009
May 20, 2009
kicking-ass
i strongly suggest to inquire into the following two objects:
1. the reed walton memos, but more importantly for this moment,
its newest oral story project. what?
"It's all here: danger, comedy, childhood, romance, drugs, animal parts, madness... the list goes on and on. Hassletown is a record of oral storytelling recorded early in 2009. It features 30 true tales from 20 amateur storytellers."
2.
1. the reed walton memos, but more importantly for this moment,
its newest oral story project. what?
"It's all here: danger, comedy, childhood, romance, drugs, animal parts, madness... the list goes on and on. Hassletown is a record of oral storytelling recorded early in 2009. It features 30 true tales from 20 amateur storytellers."
2.
May 19, 2009
epic marathon
angels & demons then sneaking into star trek surely was the longest streak
of epic cinema i've handled in a while, way worth it though.
on a not-so-positive note, saying the wrong things at the wrong time can be a
very very sticky situation
of epic cinema i've handled in a while, way worth it though.
on a not-so-positive note, saying the wrong things at the wrong time can be a
very very sticky situation
May 17, 2009
happenings
set up a record player outside, hanging in the sun and reading with mom, WHEN SUDDENLY (at about 1PM)
never seen anything like this in my life before - rainbow circling around the sun. wha wha wha?
May 16, 2009
crazy dream
. in a street band with robert, gio, and zane.
. i had a bass, never plugged in
. i look up and everybody is getting their move on
. we get to 'the van' and zane takes my bass and says: 'i'd better take care of this'
-three thugged out dudes start messing with me, continually dislocating my kneecaps by doing
some weird hand movements (and obviously not even touching my knees)
. the wake-up call: 'maggie, how could you let this happen?!'
eeeek
. i had a bass, never plugged in
. i look up and everybody is getting their move on
. we get to 'the van' and zane takes my bass and says: 'i'd better take care of this'
-three thugged out dudes start messing with me, continually dislocating my kneecaps by doing
some weird hand movements (and obviously not even touching my knees)
. the wake-up call: 'maggie, how could you let this happen?!'
eeeek
May 14, 2009
why, oh why?
did i have to wake up with 'creep' by stone temple pilots stuck in my head?
and why can't i begin this day without listening to it and crawling into the depths of
this iffy weather. been meaning to play basketball, lay in the grass, feel positive about
changes for two days. silly little complaints that somehow took over my energy levels
and twisted them upside down. not stoked on waking up early, rather hoping to sleep
in late - yet disappointed when i realize it's late.
ah!
and why can't i begin this day without listening to it and crawling into the depths of
this iffy weather. been meaning to play basketball, lay in the grass, feel positive about
changes for two days. silly little complaints that somehow took over my energy levels
and twisted them upside down. not stoked on waking up early, rather hoping to sleep
in late - yet disappointed when i realize it's late.
ah!
mother's day
May 13, 2009
May 12, 2009
no smokes
2.5 weeks - the neurological/psychological/spiritual race is on!
sanctioned addictive drugs and bad addictive drugs - sad/bad.
no one tells me what to do
one one tells me what to do
no one tells me what to do - abracadabra, poof! no more.
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